OK so it's been a few days since I sent the phone back.  I did get one text from the other guy just before I sent the phone back asking me if I was going to.  I didn't respond, deleted the text and dropped the phone in the mail.

A few days go by and my husband and I are still in constant contact.  Even at work we talk all the time.  One of the things we discussed was is this really over and there will be no more contact or is this the calm before the storm?  I should interject here that in the process of all of this I found out that the other guy has a criminal record...like a SERIOUS criminal record.  So I'm already on edge because of the affair and now this criminal stuff is rattling around in my brain as well.  What a mindfuck.

So anyway, I get a random text from the other guy asking me if I'm OK because he got picked up on a warrant and just bonded out.  Hmm, what does that have to do with me?  Ignore the text.  A few minutes later, another text comes in telling me like he said, he'd "always be there for me and my kids", a bunch of other stuff about how he wishes me the best.  Blah, blah, blah.  Once again I ignore it.

At the time the texts came in my husband wasn't home.  As soon as he got home I showed them to him and we discussed how we were going to handle it all.  I was all for the "ignore it and it will go away" method.  So for that night I ignored it.  The next morning I got another text that simply said good morning!  Damn dude, I never answered the other two what makes you think I'll answer this one?

I called my husband (who was then at work) and told him about the newest text.  Now I'm getting a little antsy and a lot freaked out.  Of course my husband is pretty ticked at this point.  I shouldn't say ticked, he's concerned.  I told him I'd keep him updated if I received anymore but maybe that will be all.  Throughout the day I got two more texts.  The last one I got was saying he was going to leave me alone...

When my husband got home we decided we were going to call the other guy (on speaker phone) and I would make it VERY CLEAR that I wanted nothing to do with the other guy.  My husbands rational to calling the other guy was that if for some reason the other guy thought my husband had my phone he was saying that he would leave me alone for my husband's benefit and that I secretly wanted to talk to him.  By the way, I'm really glad I have a man's perspective on this because I would have never thought that way.  My mindset was that if I ignored it it was because I wanted nothing to do with the other...

So anyway, we called him.  Before the other guy got a word out (other than hello) I told him I wanted to make it crystal clear that I wanted NO contact.  The other guy got really pretty huffy and said yes, he wouldn't contact me again.  I asked him to give me his word.  His response?  First it was, "don't make me out to be the bad guy here, I gave him (my husband) my word that I wouldn't contact you again.  Then, "fine, I give you my word, is that good enough for him?"  Um, OK so obviously he knew we were on speaker phone and my husband was listening.  Not to mention he had already given my husband his word and didn't follow through.  So I told him yea it was good enough and repeated no contact.  No texts, emails, phone calls, nothing.  We then hung up.

Boy was I glad we made that phone call.  It was a little bit of closure and my husband and I were a united front.

My husband and I sat and discussed for a while what we would do if the contact continued.  None of the suggestions were good ones.  I hope for the other guys sake he holds up his end of the bargain.

So here it has been about a week since that call.  It's been quiet and no direct contact...